Saturday, July 10, 2010

#6 will still come, just a little bit later.

I am so grateful for the tender mercies that Heavenly Father gives me. Last April, I found a really good deal on a flight for my mom to come and visit me. I had a very strong prompting from the spirit that I needed to get that flight for her on July 7th. I thought it was because she could use a change of scenery while my dad is out of the country. I never thought that she needed to be here for me to give me the extra help and support that I needed.

July 8th, the day after she got here, she came with me to my regular OB appointment. I was 17 1/2 weeks along. I was really hoping to be able to talk my Dr. into giving me an ultrasound to see if the baby was a boy or a girl. I was going to be going out of town and my normal 20 week ultra sound was going to have to be 23 week ultra sound. I really wanted one before I went out of town. The nurse came into the room and did all my vitals and then tried to see if we could hear the baby's heartbeat. She couldn't find it. She had another nurse come in and she couldn't find it either. They were going to have to give me an ultra sound to see if they could see a heartbeat. The Dr. came in and asked all her questions and then afterward had me go in to the ultrasound room. It was then that she saw that there was no heartbeat or movement of any kind. I was shocked! I have had a miscarriage before, but had had cramping and bleeding to go with it. I have had none of that.

I was so glad that my mom was there with me. Otherwise, I would have had one of my older kids with me or I would have been alone. Chad was working. The nurses, residents, and Dr.s were so good to me and took great care of me. I was a weeping wreck along with my mom, but I felt the spirit close to me. The hospital staff said that they were going to do thier best to be able to take care of everything that same day. I stayed in the back office while they scheduled the procedure for later that afternoon. It just so happened that the OB that was on call at the hospital was an expert in the kind of procedure that I needed. If I had been two weeks farther along, I would have had to go into labor and given birth to the fetus. As it was, I was able to be put out the whole time and didn't feel a thing. The Dr. said that when she examined the placenta that it didn't look healthy.

I was considering getting my tubes tied, and Chad supported me in whatever I wanted to do with that. A little later, before the procedure, he came to me and told me that we were not supposed to get my tubes tied and that this little spirit still needed to come to our family. Something had gone wrong with the body. This information also helped the kids cope with this loss. They took it pretty hard too. I am so grateful for Chad and for him sharing his answers to prayers with me. He has been a great comfort to me through all of this.

I am so grateful of my knowledge of this gospel and knowing that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and that He is in charge, is keeping my spirits up. He has really been holding my hand through all of this and has blessed me with several "tender mercies" through this time. He has blessed me with a wonderful family and friends that have all been there. I have been truly humbled by all the love and prayers that I have felt during this time of trial. My dad always taught me to pray for trials to become a stronger person. I didn't pray for this, but my testimony has been boosted through this process. I have become a stronger person. Thanks to everyone that has supported me and prayed for me and my family. I love you all!